Juggling is a skill that most mothers come to learn and perfect very quickly… Not literal juggling of course- Task juggling. My toddler has just turned into a whirlwind and I find myself questioning how long this stage will last? I love his quirky ways, but my god- if the folded, freshly laundered clothes could stay in the neat pile I put them in five minutes ago, it would give me a weird, great satisfaction.
Alfie is almost 17 months old now, and time is absolutely flying by, as most mothers will understand. It seems to be, that my once quiet, fairly tidy, no-mess-on-my-hands-please-mammy little boy has turned into a total destruction maker! Not in a bad, aggressive, smash the house up kind of destructive, but the everything you do to tidy will be undone because I think i’m helping you by pulling it all out again kind of destructive… SEND HELP AND COFFEE. I mean, is destructive even the right word? Probably not… But to me, someone who needs structure and some form of normality around them just to stay sane, it’s proving to be one of the biggest challenges that this whole motherhood thing has brought so far… That and combined with the fact i’m 33 weeks pregnant and EVERYTHING is proving to be a challenge, there is only so many times in a day I can go around picking up bits of mess off the floors. The blessing here, is that I have dark carpets- god knows what colour they would be if they were light! Dark carpets hide a multitude of things, however, they also show up every spec and crumb no matter how small… There is really no in between is there?
I can’t even begin to relay my frustration at the current situation. Tidying and cleaning my house is something which I do every morning, part of my little routine when Mark goes to work and the floor is just scattered with Mega Bloks, Balls from the ball pit, Thomas the tank engine figures… No matter how many times I hoover, within about 5 minutes I can turn around and find the remnants of snack time mashed into my carpets and sticking to my feet, or because of the dark carpets wicked disguise, an unexpected wet patch where water from the supposedly “non spill” cup has chosen to free flow out. Non spill my arse. If anyone has recommendations for a good toddler cup, please let me know in the comments, as the term non spill is a joke in our house right now. What is also annoying, is that these so called non spill cups have been the cause of many outfit changes recently, as Alfie is soaking his clothes by resting the cup at his side when he eats his food. You can only imagine my delight at all the extra work this brings… To whoever manufactured these certain cups, i’m holding two fingers up right at this moment.
Don’t get me wrong, this post has probably sounded a bit bitchy so far (I blame the pregnancy hormones!) but trust me when I say we aren’t a serious, boring bunch of folks in our house and luckily for Alfie, he has myself and Mark who, as parents, we are both fun loving and a bit more on the let it flow side so he has no idea how much his “helping” is driving me crazy because we let him just crack on with it, after all it keeps him occupied and I would much rather have a child who wants to help mama with chores, than a child who sits back and does nothing to help around the house. Realistically, stressed out mama aside, if I had wanted someone that was going to sit still on the chair, be boring and not move, I would have bought a doll, not had kids! Our house is by no means perfect, it wasn’t before I had Alfie although it was a hell of a lot better than it is now, but nor will it be for most likely the next 18 years plus while we raise these tiny, havoc inducing, mess creating, clutter loving humans… However, when I have spent hours trying to make it look some form of presentable and then someone knocks at the door and you look to see chaos has unleashed in the 30 seconds it’s taken you to turn your back and answer said door, a part of me just wants to scream and just say right sorry you aren’t coming in because it looks like a toy shop has vomited in my living room! Am I being over the top here? Someone tell me this justified?! I’m all about living for your own standards and not doing things to please other people (i’m not good at practising this, i’m a definite people pleaser) but jesus christ, part of me wants to literally just say fuck it and if you think my house is messy, GREAT. If you think I could be cleaner, feel free to get your bleach out!
People can mistake the chaos for laziness, when in fact IT IS NOT MY DOING! Please do not mistake the fact my house looks like a Toys R Us break in scene for me sitting on my arse all day, it’s actually my little sidekick loving life and wanting to play with all million toys at the same time. He gets so much pleasure from randomly running over and pulling toys out and just throwing them out of the box- but not just one or two, but EVERY SINGLE TOY and trust me that’s a lot of toys. I will never stop Alfie from having fun and enjoying his toys and play, and as much as it frustrates me at times I do realise that this is very much part of his development. The toy situation is expected, I gave birth to a baby not a boring robot and I would be concerned if he didn’t love his toys… However, Alfie my sweet, I draw the line at you pulling out my neatly folded laundry and putting it all back into the washing machine and mixing it back with dirty laundry as you go- this confuses mama and my brain is already mush to start with right now! Pregnancy has a lot to answer for!
Basically rant over- but seriously, I think every stage of motherhood/fatherhood brings with it different challenges and barriers we have to overcome as parents, whether it’s the sleepless nights and colic that come with a newborn, the messy and often confusing weaning stage or the whirlwind toddler moments, it teaches us patience, understanding and acceptance for the difficult challenges and also positives these tiny people bring to our lives! No two children are the same, and if you are reading this and your child is a total easy going person, enjoy that! However, if your child is a bit of a handful, take some time out for yourself and remember to breathe! This journey is not always enjoyable and plain sailing, and it’s ok to admit that… I think we all have days where we could throw in the towel, where we question for a second why we are doing this and wonder what we have let ourselves in for… But then you get those moments and days where it all falls into place and you are reminded at just how wonderful your children are, and that feeling of love floods you and there in that moment, you have your answer. Anyone who says being a parent is easy, is in my opinion, either lying or very disillusioned. It is bloody hard work, and I never take the good days for granted because I know there will be a tough one around the corner. Kids are brilliant at testing our patience, pushing our buttons and boundaries, it’s what they do! You came this far, and these times will pass. I have the dreaded terrible twos to look forward to soon, I think we are approaching the run up to that, tantrums, strops and independent toddlers, and i’m sure we’ll look back in years to come and laugh about this, but right now it’s tough at times. I have to admit though, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Maybe i’ll not be saying that with so much conviction in June when we have a newborn added into the mix! Let the chaos come!
My next post will be a Maternity Monday next week as I will have had my consultant appointment for baby bump where we find out our induction date and a few other bits of information so there will be more to update on then! Until then my dears, have a great week!