Happy Maternity Monday, here we are coming into the 30th week of pregnancy! I feel so excited at this little milestone because to me, there is something about hitting the 30’s that makes it all feel very real and brings the whole thing into the foreseeable future, rather than something that feels years away!
So i’ve had a consultant review appointment since I last updated and it went really well- we have decided that the best option for me going forward, is to aim for a planned induction of labour at 39 weeks, the same plan we had for Alfie’s birth, to help me maintain some element of control and to ease my increasing anxieties. Although I am fully aware baby may come earlier and that’s fine but for now, we are working to the plan that he will go to full term. I feel like having a date to work with really helps me to mentally prepare for his arrival, and tick off those last few important aspects of planning. Another major factor for being induced, is to try and plan better around my mental health, and if there is a date that the care team is aware of, it helps them to put things in place sooner rather than later. I am really nervous about the potential relapse in my mental health, so having everyone working from the same angle is reassuring. My labour and delivery with Alfie was planned induction and it allowed me to maintain control and feel empowered and I felt much calmer that way, and I would love to try and feel that again. I know induction is not for everyone, and to be honest, although i’ve done it before, i’m still terrified! I would love to see what the difference would be if my body went into natural labour, but I think unless I go into labour before 39 weeks, the induction will be going ahead.
I have treated this pregnancy the same as I did with Alfie’s- First, I wanted to hit the 12 week mark, for obvious reasons… Next, it was getting to 20 weeks for the anomaly scan… Thirdly, it was hitting 24 weeks for my pregnancy to be classed as viable, and now- it’s the 30 week mark! After that each week is a blessing and a milestone in itself. For some, that may be a little confusing, but to me, it is more of a peace of mind thing. I find pregnancy the most stressful experience, just not being able to see through my skin and into my uterus to know how the baby is getting on in there really gets to me, it sends my mind into overdrive and I cannot relax and enjoy it as much as I want to be able to. However, last week I was treated to the most amazing gift from my friend, and had the opportunity to see my baby again in another scan, but this time in 4D HD which was for fun, not for medical purposes, and it made all of the difference…. It was simply amazing, breathtaking and very surreal! I could have lay on that bed for hours watching my little guy wriggling around, showing off his facial expressions and looking very snug and cosy indeed! What amazes me is how much he looks like Alfie as well! I love that so much, it makes me feel a sense of total contentment. At first, he was not very cooperative, and because I have an anterior placenta and he is in a head down presentation, the view was a bit restricted- he was more happy to snuggle his little face into the placenta, rather than face the ultrasound probe which I find very cute! He is obviously quite comfortable in there! After a little persuasion, we finally got to see him and that feeling of pure love just hit me again!
So at almost 30 weeks, i’m feeling the real strain on my back and pelvis again, and in all honesty i’m a little scared as to how much worse it’s going to get. I had pelvic girdle pain with Alfie but it was a lot nearer the end of the pregnancy and it got quite bad- this time everything is happening earlier and more intensely! I sat one night last week and could have cried with the pain and tension in my back, it feels as though it’s going to snap and sleeping is becoming a lot more of a challenge! I have started spending most of my time tossing and turning trying to get comfortable as opposed to getting any actual rest! I’m also up to pee more again which is a crappy one because you finally get into a position that feels ok and baby starts treating the bladder like a soft play centre! Everything else is pretty much the same- heartburn is nasty and becoming more of a constant thing and i’m becoming more tired easily. Walking up the stairs has become a real test as stupid as that may sound, I could do with an oxygen tank by the time I get up there! I have never felt so unfit in all of my life! Although I have a good moan about all of these things, I know I will miss this very pregnant feeling once he arrives!
This past week has been a germ filled one in our house because poor Alfie has had a heavy cold and is still not feeling any better, he deals with it so well though so I can’t complain about that- I just wish he didn’t have to feel poorly! He has been learning a lot of new words recently and it melts me on the spot when he talks. I just think he is amazing! As parents- don’t we all?! No matter what the day may bring, or how I feel, Alfie makes me smile, he makes me feel so much love and he brings a lot of balance to my life which is something I never thought possible. Kids don’t know how amazing they truly are and I cannot wait to see how his little world will develop even more when he has a baby brother to love!
I have been thinking a lot recently about how our lives will change when the baby comes, how our routine and little bubble will be different and I will be totally honest, it scares me knowing that Alfie has had me all to himself for what will be 18 months when baby comes, and how he will feel all of a sudden having to share his time with me and another baby? I am terrified that he will feel like I don’t care as much, or that he can’t be the same with me. Right now, he is clingy and very much a “mummy’s boy”, we have an amazing, loving and close relationship and I want him to know that he is still loved the same and just because I have to share my time, it does not mean my love will be any less for him. I plan to get him involved as much as possible with all of the cares for baby- dressing, nappy changing, cuddles and play to make sure he feels included and that he knows that although the baby needs me a little more at that moment, he is still very much wanted and a part of that. If anyone has any tips for introducing a sibling into the family set up when you already have a young child, please let me know. I think the worry is more Alfie’s age, he won’t have the comprehension and understanding of a baby coming that say, a five year old would have, so please feel free to share your experiences with me and shed some light on how to introduce this change in the best possible way!
Thanks for reading, and hello to the new people that have followed this past couple of weeks- it is much appreciated! I hope you are enjoying these pregnancy updates!