Totally Unprepared…

Hello! Hope everyone’s weekend has been a good one! Can we just take a moment to appreciate that a “Maternity Monday” post is going up on an actual Monday! I’m doing well this week but don’t expect it every week though, I’m not that good 😉 
Today i’m going to be discussing how greatly unprepared I am with the preparations for baby number 2! But first… Last week, I felt the baby moving properly for the first time! So exciting!! I love love LOVE this feeling so much and it’s finally back! Strong little feet we have in there, the kicks are given with very good effort from such a little person- I’m proud already haha- I FREAKING LOVE IT! It is a major positive for me, because it means I can finally accept that there is a baby in there and it’s kicking me as if to say, hello mammy i’m here! That gives me more reassurance than I could ever explain to you! 
I am probably going to sound like i’m totally uninterested with preparing for this baby but that is so not true, I am just a little behind and I feel so bad about it! The shit mother award goes to…. I know I still have ages to prepare, but by this point, I had pretty much everything ready for Alfie, his nursery was taking shape and almost finished and I had all of the nappies, baby toiletries, newborn essentials all laid out nicely for him arriving. His nursery was a nautical themed, lovely presentation of newborn cuteness with pictures on the walls, a cot with the most beautiful baby bedding and a changing station brimming with nappies, towels and other must have items… This time around, I am trailing my feet so badly! When you read this i’ll be at the halfway point and I feel absolutely shocking as I haven’t bought one thing for this baby! 
I know some women have told me that when they were having their second, third, fourth babies etc, they didn’t really buy things until late and they didn’t have everything so perfect after the first baby because they were so busy looking after the child they already have. For me, it’s not that I’m any less excited, because I can’t wait to see my baby, I just seem to let the weeks pass and then think- oh shit! I haven’t actually gotten anything again. The bedrooms are totally not ready and most of the baby things are still packed in boxes after the house move! I must motivate myself, and mark for that matter! Don’t you find that most men are so laid back when it comes to babies and pregnancy they don’t really seem to appreciate the importance of having everything in the right place, practicalities all covered? Am I really uptight because I want nappies on a certain shelf? Men don’t realise how lucky they are to get into bed and actually sleep, as opposed to us women who are thinking about nursery colour schemes and whether or not 200 nappies will be enough to see us through the first couple of weeks, and also what we will have for tea tomorrow, and did I forget to do something today, what was it again? You get the picture! My brain never really sleeps. If my eyes are closed, don’t be fooled… I can still hear you haha! 
We will be finding out the gender (hopefully!) of this baby at our 20 week scan next week, and if it’s a boy, I still have the majority of Alfie’s newborn clothes, blankets and bedding so this poor little thing will be having hand-me-downs, as I really cannot see the sense is spending money on the same stuff we already have upstairs in boxes, stuff that was hardly worn anyway by Alfie! He got some amazing clothes when he was born from generous friends and family, and I would love it if we could use them with this baby as it was lovely stuff! It’s not that I care any less, I think I’m just a bit more practical this time! I mean God help if we are actually having a girl because that will be that plan out of the window, unless she gets stuck in sailor romper suits and navy all of the time… 
I don’t even know what is stopping me, with Alfie I was so excited to buy anything and everything, but this time, I think maybe my anxiety is stopping me… I don’t want to jinx anything and I feel like if I’m to prepared, is that inviting trouble? God why can’t I stop my overactive brain from thinking of all this shit! I know that is probably ridiculous to even think that, as what will be will be regardless of whether I have bought a few baby grows or not, but even so, it stops me getting excited and indulging. It is so annoying because this will be our last baby and I want to relish every moment and get excited about all of the little things again before I won’t feel it again. Someone feel free to just give me a slap or kick up the arse! 
Hopefully this will be changing soon and I will feel more at ease and relax a little, and get things prepared otherwise this poor baby will arrive into chaos and if there’s one thing I cannot bear, it is chaos and disorganisation! 
Did any of you feel more unprepared with your second babies? Let me know as I’m interested to hear whether it’s just your first where you go overboard with excitement… 
Take care and I’ll be back soon with the next post which will be all about the 20 week anomaly scan and hopefully a gender reveal if baby is cooperative! I am so looking forward to writing that post so stay tuned! 
Much love,

J

XoX 

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Author: AutumnLovingMamaBlog

Alfie's mama, currently pregnant with baby number 2 who is due in June 2017! I live with Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety. I'm from the UK and i'm a Mental Health Support Worker, follow me on social media to see more of us! 🍂🍁

2 thoughts on “Totally Unprepared…”

  1. jade u dont hav the time u had to prepare with alfie. all ur time is taken ip looking after ur toddler so u just dont have the luxury of being as prepared this time round…… im same. its not that ur not excited or wanting to do it. just the priority is the one thats taking up all ur attention at the min. xx

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